Leaving Home: How Far Do Americans Live From Their Moms? (2023 Data)

Nearly everyone leaves the nest at some point, but how far away we move depends on a range of factors like property prices, living costs and whether we want to see mom regularly.

With this in mind, we surveyed 1,800 people across the U.S. to reveal just how far Americans are living from their moms, whether they want to live closer, and if they can even afford to.

Key Findings

• The typical American lives 78.55 miles from their mom
• More than two in five (46.07%) Americans say they cannot afford to live closer to their moms
• Just under two fifths (38.86%) of Americans see their moms weekly, however, more than 88% of Americans would like to see their mom more often
• Three quarters (74.97%) of Americans would try to move closer to mom if they needed help with childcare
• Over two fifths (42.66%) of Americans had, or expect to have, help from mom with a home down payment

How close do Americans live to their moms?

Our survey found that the typical American lives 78.55 miles from their mom, with more than one in six people (17.21%) living over 100 miles away or in another country to mom.

Results further showed that the female respondents live an average of 87.77 miles from their mom, while male respondents typically live 67.50 miles from their mom. Nearly one in five (18.71%) female respondents and 15.41% of male respondents reported living over 100 miles away from their mom, or in a different country to their mom.

Respondents aged under 25 live an average of 59.49 miles from their mom, with 25.38% of young adults still living at home with their mom. A further 25.38% of respondents under the age of 25 live within 15 miles of their mom, while just 12.31% live over 100 miles or in a different country to their mom.

Respondents aged between 25 and 34 live the furthest from their mom, living an average of 86.96 miles from their mom, with almost one in five (19.40%) living 100 over 100 miles or in a different country to their mom.

Results showed that Hispanic respondents live the closest to moms, living an average of 59.10 miles from their mom. White respondents were found to live an average of 72.48 miles from their moms, with Black respondents living an average of 81.43 from their moms. Asian respondents were found to live the furthest from their moms, living an average of 107.91 miles from their mom.

Can Americans afford to live closer to their moms?

According to the National Association of Realtors [1], the median existing-home price in the U.S. was $396,100, with the median price of a new home now $416,300, according to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development [2].

Based on these prices, the average home buyer would need to put down over $79,000 as a 20% down payment and — with interest rates now higher than in previous years — will need to budget over $2,000 each month to keep up with the mortgage repayments at their current rates [3].

Unsurprisingly, these costs can make it hard for people to afford a home, never mind moving closer to their mom. 

The results of our survey revealed that two in five (46.07%) Americans say they cannot afford to live closer to their moms, with nearly three quarters (73.12%) of these respondents saying they would choose to live closer to their mom if they could afford a home nearby.

Our results found that 49.08% of under 35s say they can not afford to live close to their moms, with those aged between 25 and 34 the least likely (52.25%) to be able to afford a home closer to where their mom lives.

At the other end of the scale, those aged 55+ are the most likely to be able to afford a house in their mom’s area, with 66.43% stating they could afford a home close to their mom. 

When we look at gender, men (58.01%) are more likely to afford to live in their mom’s area than women (50.54%).

Of those that can’t afford to live in their mom’s area, 73.12% would live closer if they could afford it. Men (75.60%) are more likely to say they would move closer to their mother if they could afford to than women (71.36%).

Malcolm-Wiley Floyd, CEO of Stairs Financial commented, “With affordable housing at record low levels, it’s not surprising that around 2 in 5 people can’t afford to buy in the same area as their mom. Between 1980 and 2023, the median price of a home, adjusted for inflation, rose by $261,000, meaning that on average it’s much harder to buy in the same areas as your parents once did.”

How frequently do people see their moms?

With the average American living around an hour from mom by car, how often are people actually seeing their mom? According to our data, it’s most common for people to see their mom at least on a weekly basis.

Our survey shows that three in five (59.70%) people see their moms once a week or more, with 38.86% of people seeing their mother weekly, while 20.84% of respondents see their mom daily.

Those that see their mom monthly or less account for 40.30% of people. This figure is composed of 22.28% of people who see their moms monthly, 12.06% who see their moms annually, and 5.96% who never see their moms.

We also found that women see their mothers less frequently than men, with 57.26% of women seeing their moms once a week or more, compared to 62.63% of men. Data further showed that 7.80% of women — compared to 3.75% of men — never see their moms.

How frequently you see your mom has a big impact on the total amount of time you get to spend together. If you see your mom daily (for 2 hours over 20 years), you’ll spend 1.7 years together. If you see your mom weekly (for 2 hours over 20 years), you’ll spend 2.9 months together. Seeing mom monthly (for 2 hours over 20 years) will only give you 20 days together.

Do we want to see our moms more often?

The answer to this question is a resounding yes according to the results of our survey. 88.16% of people would like to see their mother more often. In terms of gender, more men (91.14%) would like to see their moms more often than women (85.65%).

Interestingly, only 41.31% of people that say they’d like to see their mom more often, also say they can’t afford to live closer to her. Conversely, 58.69% of people would like to see their mom more often and can afford to live in her area, but choose not to.

Would people live closer to mom for childcare or if mom needed care?

According to our respondents, the majority of people would try to move closer to their mom if it meant either getting help with childcare or helping to care for their mom.

74.97% of people say they would try to move closer to their mom if they needed childcare. Men (78.64%) are the most likely to try to turn to their mom for help with childcare, compared to women (71.91%).

What about if mom needed help? 90.63% of people say they would try to move closer to their mom if she needed care. The sentiment is shared by both men (90.91%) and women (90.4%).

Do moms often help with home down payments?

42.66% of people say their mom helped to pay their down payment on a home or they expect that she will in the future.

“The average cost of a down payment for a first home is around $17,000 for first-time homebuyers, a substantial amount of money for any parent to give or loan to their child,” commented Malcolm-Wiley Floyd, CEO of Stairs Financial.

Those aged 55 and over are the most likely (53.15%) to say their mom helped or would help them to afford their down payment on a home with those aged 45 to 54 (39%) expecting help the least.

Men (47.19%) are more likely to say their mom helped or would expect them to help with affording a downpayment, while almost 10% less of women (38.90%) say the same.

Malcolm-Wiley Floyd, CEO of Stairs Financial, commented, “Turning to your parents is one of the most common forms of down payment assistance used, particularly for buying first homes. Parents want to help their kids build a home for their families and a strong base for their financial future. Being close to the grandkids is a nice bonus.”

Moving closer to mom is possible

Thousands of down payment assistance programs exist to help Americans purchase their first home. Finding the programs you qualify for can be hard. Stairs makes the process simpler by connecting you with a local lender that understands down payment assistance in your area. Get early access now and buy your first home (near mom) sooner.

Methodology

On the 04th of May, 2023, we surveyed 1,800 people across America and asked them a range of questions related to their mom. Of the 1,800 people we surveyed, 274 people’s mothers had already passed away, reducing our final sample size to 1,526 people. Of those 1,526 people, respondents were: all located in US; 54.59% female and 45.41% male; and were aged 18 – 24 (16.84%), 25 – 34 (26.21%), 35 – 44 (31.78%), 45 – 54 (15.79%), 55 + (9.37%).